


Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

by linatrinch



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Blood, M/M, Suicide, children being killed, dreamscape sort of thing, references everywhere, tw for violence, very very bad stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 21:44:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5759962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linatrinch/pseuds/linatrinch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player,<br/>That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,<br/>And then is heard no more. It is a tale<br/>Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,<br/>Signifying nothing.</p><p>---</p><p>Poe and Finn stumble upon an abandoned temple on a deserted planet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> I've been having this little seed in my head since I first got into this ship. I haven't really seen anything like it around either. Most fics tend to be Finn waking up (Not all, just most.) and I'd like to see more of the different things.
> 
> Anyway, prepare for pain and angst and I don't even know what else. Just bear with me right now, all right?
> 
> NOTE: I know a lot of things in this are going to be inaccurate. Lots of violence. Some kids are brutally murdered. Trigger warning for suicide. Just a lot of fun stuff.

It was supposed to be a simple little detour. Well, their lives were never simple, not even for a moment, but this wasn't meant to be that big of a deal. They just wanted to find Rey.

It had started with a distress beacon going off somewhere near where General Organa claimed that her brother was found. Which meant it was going off where Rey was supposed to be. And she had the Falcon and R2-D2 and freaking Luke Skywalker, but Finn couldn't shake the worry as he turned to look at Poe's stunned face. Even the General frowned.

They tried to take the X-Wing, with or without permission, but one thing lead to the other. The First Order, the heat of battle, over an hour of getting sidetracked, all that jazz. Somehow, they wound up in a freighter. If they weren't getting shot at, Finn would have almost thought it ironic.

“Don't suppose you got the coordinates,” Poe inquired through grit teeth as he maneuvered through heavy fire. The pilot didn't have to come with him. Dameron's place was with his people and his team, with the Resistance, yet there was no surprise that he was there at all, especially since BB-8 tagged along last minute.

Finn prattled off the coordinates from memory, almost bemused when his friend entered them in without thinking twice right before the hyper drive was initiated. Not five seconds later, it became apparent that they had been followed. The First Order really did not want them getting away. So much so, it made Finn's stomach flip. What had happened to Rey? What was Kylo Ren planning?

He didn't have much time for reflection until they were hit and every alarm in the ship began to blare and screech.

“Dammit!” Poe cursed, his voice somehow reaching an octave higher than the alarms. He must have not figured that someone would be so stupid as to attack another ship while in hyper drive, either. There wasn't even any time to retaliate. There couldn't be in their position. “One more and we'll-”

Another blast shook the entire hull, BB-8 screaming somewhere behind them. From there, it was just sound and light. Finn felt like his chest cavity was caving in and then there was the weird sensation of falling in space. Falling. Shit, this was familiar.

When he woke, it was with a splitting headache and a vague memory of being blasted straight out of hyper drive. Why the First Order didn't just come and finish them off, he had no idea. Maybe Poe got them out?

Finn hummed, raising his head as best he could with the pain shooting down his spine. The alarms in their ship had finally shut up, but it was way too silent. And bright. He opened his eyes, finding a vast expanse of land outside of the cockpit... They landed on a planet. By all rights, they should be dead.

It wasn't until he looked over to Poe that he finally thought that maybe- maybe-

His friend was unconscious and pale and blood trailed from his hair line. Even as Finn untangled himself from his seat, ignored his protesting head, he had to keep calm and remember that at least Poe was actually still visibly breathing.

“Poe!” His hands found the pilot's face, trying hard to be gentle and not freak out at the same time. Finn shook him. “Poe, wake up! Look at me! Hey!” This would be the second time they crash landed together on a damn planet. “Poe!” At least it wasn't Jakku. _“Poe, dammit! C'mon!”_

The pilot hissed from the hard jostling, immediately reaching a hand out to Finn as his face scrunched in pain. “Look at me,” Finn repeated, gentler this time. He would apologize for hurting his friend, but fuck, he really wasn't sorry right now. He would be later, but not right now.

After sucking in a deep breath, Poe gripped harder at Finn's shirt and finally opened his eyes. “Hey.”

The other sighed, slapping the pilot on the arm. “Hey.”

Finn stepped back as Poe cradled his head, leaning himself down in his seat and looking out at the view as well. “How long was I out?”

“I don't know,” Finn shrugged, still feeling like he was out of breath. “I just woke up. I don't think we were followed, though... Any idea where we are?”

Poe glanced around the cockpit, taking in the dark space around them that, just a moment ago, was lit up like a battle. “No,” he quietly grumbled, seemingly to himself as he flicked a few switches, pressed some odd buttons. “The hell? Nothing's on.”

“The engines wouldn't do this,” Finn mentioned, knowing that his comment isn't really helping. But what else could it be? It certainly isn't-

“If it was the core, we'd sure as hell know it,” Poe said as he tugged at wires below the controls, practically reading the other man's thoughts. If it was the core, they should all be nice and blown up right now, one would think. “Nothing's working...”

Finn blinks down at him, not sure what to do, but everything is just so... odd right now. “Did you land us?”

“No, I-” The pilot pauses in the middle of his sentence and sits up to look out at the planet again, a serious mix of worry and confusion covering his face. “I was unconscious.”

Finn breathes and nods. “We were thrown out of hyper drive by the First Order. That's the last thing I remember... What could kill the ship and land us safely on a planet?” Another ship? Like a tractor beam or something? But why on a nondescript planet? Was this another First Order base? Then why did they wake up inside their cockpit without being at gunpoint?

Poe slowly turned his head to give Finn a hard look, eyes squinting just a little as his mind visibly turned over his own theories. Eventually, he asked slowly, “Where's BB-8?”

They both turned their heads in unison to the last place they both heard the droid screaming: right behind them. Poe undid his safety harnesses and practically jumped from his seat, breaking into a hard run with Finn right on his heels. _“BB!?”_

It took two laps around the ship and another more thorough lap before they finally gave up and just started turning over everything. It was around that time Poe began to curse louder and louder. Finn, eventually, just shook his head. “BB's- He's not here, Poe.”

The pilot looked to him incredulously. “Where the hell else would he be?”

Finn gave an exaggerated shrug, way too done with this day. This whole thing started when they were meant to find Rey. Now they were stranded Gods knew where, mysteriously minus a passenger. “Maybe he left the ship.”

“Without waking us?”

He probably tried and failed, honestly. “Or maybe he was stolen.”

“Without killing us?”

“Can you stow the pessimism for half a second?” Finn snapped. “We need to find BB and get off this rock without getting shot.”

“All right, all right,” Poe quickly agreed, pulling a couple of blasters from the nearest locker and handing one over as he passed the other man. “Let's see if we can open the doors of this thing without power.”

Which raised another question. How were they breathing without power? Surely the oxygen generators were offline with everything else. Or maybe there was reserve power, like for the emergency lights. Still, Finn couldn't tell if even that was on. The sun of this planet blasting in from the cockpit lit most of the space up. So if the power was off, then it was cut not long before they woke. It stood to reason, right?

He opted not to raise the idea, since he turned the next corner and found his friend on his hands and knees, fiddling with more wires from an empty panel as he grumbled the whole time - “Stupid hydraulics...” - with the blaster strapped over his back.

Finn walked over and crouched down to attempt at helping again. Even when they escaped the First Order back when they met, Poe wasn't this on edge. “I don't suppose you tried pressing the button,” Finn asked dryly.

“Oh yeah, no,” Poe, who apparently took that the wrong way, rolled his eyes and jabbed at the button above him a couple of times, “No, Finn. You're right. Let's try the damn-” With a loud creaking groan, the doors opened with a jolt next to their feet as the ramp lowered. “... That wasn't supposed to work.”

No. No, it wasn't. Everything else in the ship was off. How did- “You know ships better than your own bunk, Poe. How did it do that?”

Without looking to him, the pilot glanced to the panel before leaning back on his knees, getting a good view of the ship as if the answer was written on a sign right above their heads. After a strong beat of silence, he just grabbed the blaster and stood up. “Let's figure it out after we get BB-8.”

“Yeah,” Finn sighed, unsure about this entire situation. As they stepped down from the ramp and onto a planet of cracked earth and dust, he played with the thought that maybe they're both dead and this is just what happens when you're dead. It would make more sense than-

This was metal.

Finn looked down to his feet and stomped against what he previously thought was solid ground, but seemed to just be a thick layer of sand covering something else up. Great. They landed on a metal plate. Maybe a magnetic plate or something. That would explain a hell of a lot.

He was just about to explain this new theory when his name whispered to him over the light breeze. “Finn...”

Poe had turned to look at the starboard side of their ship, the side that held the most blind spots from the cockpit aside from the back. Without a word, the ex-Stormtrooper stepped closer to see what his friend was staring at... and gaped along with him.

There, on what seemed to be quite the deserted planet, stood five tall spires shooting straight from the sands beneath their feet and reaching higher in the sky than Finn knew was possible for a building. The First Order didn't have any buildings that tall. Maybe it was just because there was nothing else on this planet to compare it to aside from them, though. Maybe it was just so imposing that they felt too small by sheer magnitude. “How did we not see that before?”

Poe looked all around him as he stepped closer to the obelisk. “This whole planet looks abandoned... Think BB's in there?”

From horizon to hazy horizon, there was nothing but the orange-brown earth beneath their feet... except for this thing. Finn easily noticed two giant doors near the bottom, an entrance that wasn't too far away. “Maybe,” he guessed, looking back to his feet. “The wind might have hid the trail if it was long enough ago.” Which didn't make sense because there was still oxygen in the ship... unless the hull cracked and they were breathing the planet's oxygen. At this point, he could only ask the Gods for Rey's safety since they seemed to be horribly screwed right now.

“If he couldn't wake us up, he might have tried to look for help,” Poe reasoned, “Maybe he's the one that fixed the door, too. Closed it back on himself to keep us safe.” Yeah, it _sounded_ all nice and logical.

Finn frowned. “Whatever you think, man.” Logical, but highly improbable. The droid was very independent, that was for certain, but to leave them both there alone and disappear without a trace? Sure.

Poe slumped his shoulders and turned towards the building. “Let's just take a look and get out of here.”

Getting out of here would be preferable to anything else. Finn did not want to go into the creepy spire place, but the more he thought about it, the more Poe's argument sounded plausible. Besides, where else could the droid have gone? It made him wonder just how long they were out.

* * *

Poe took point as they approached the obelisk, knowing that his partner wouldn't complain if it was possible that something with bad intentions overheard him. At stages like this, they were both glad for each other's militant backgrounds. They flowed together in these situations, Poe scanning their front through the open door and sweeping his blaster to the left, knowing without a doubt that Finn was at his back and checking their right. It was that flow that had them meet, escape the First Order, saved them on too many occasions to count. That was probably why he was so mad over the other man, but thoughts like that were no good right now.

Finn's hand patted his thigh, giving the all clear, so Poe turned and moved forward, sidestepping over the dust that had blown in to keep his footsteps quiet. It was hard to see through the darkness, but light filtered in from a large glass ceiling once they passed the first archway right outside the entrance doors and stood at the stop of a large set of stairs. Now this... was a red flag.

The place was large, larger than many ballrooms in the many castles that Poe had to visit for the politics surrounding their cause. Stone pillars rose up along the sides as if they were in single file, reaching high up to hold the glass ceiling from collapse. What really tipped him off was how pristine the place looked. The marble floors, a deep red and gold, looked to be waxed not long before their untimely entrance, and the sconces held to every pillar were lit, casting an almost inviting glow for the visitors.

Poe risked a glance to Finn, who in turn glanced back to him in shock and confusion and worry, everything going through the pilot's veins at the moment. So this place wasn't abandoned after all. What if the blasters would put the residents here on edge, prompting them to attack the armed men? Poe chewed his bottom lip in thought, but continued to move forward regardless. There were too many things wrong with this whole situation. He wasn't going to let his guard down just yet.

Finn made a noise behind him, no doubt a little worried about putting them out in the open. That screamed at a trap. True, but Poe wanted to see what would happen.

Once they were too far from the entrance and not close enough to the next archway, Poe raised a fist to signal a halt and waited. After a moment of terrible silence, he looked back to Finn who just shook his head. There was still nothing here. Just a way too decorated foyer in a building that didn't belong on this planet.

With a sigh and nod, Poe kept moving forward again, a little faster now, a little more sure of his steps. If something was here, it didn't seem to want to approach them.

But the next archway came to another set of large doors, not unlike the entrance that was just open and waiting for them to enter. These were shut. Poe glanced up, making sure that the words _“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here”_ weren't inscribed over the top of the door. They weren't. It didn't make him feel better.

Finn turned his back to cover their six, so Poe reached out a hand and tested the door, unwilling to stow his blaster for even a second. Thankfully, though he truly didn't expect it to happen so easily, the door swung open with a loud groan. Loud enough that Poe wanted to groan along with it. _Just wake up the whole damn planet, why don't you?_

His thoughts were cut short by the blood. His blaster rose quickly at the sight, letting the door fall open as much as it wanted. While the blood was the first thing he saw, there didn't seem to be a lot of it. Bodies, on the other hand-

He could feel Finn tense next to him, knowing that the other man hadn't even seen this yet. It was Poe's own reaction that made him on edge... The pilot moved forward before his friend broke the silence and flat out asked. Just like before, Poe swept along their left, Finn instantly checking their right. But no all clear came, as Finn realized what they had just walked in on. Not that Poe expected it before sweeping back to their front so he could examine everything a little better.

They didn't smell. In fact, they all looked like they had just been killed, the blood at their feet still bright and fresh. It was over a dozen of them, all sorts of species from human to twi'lek to bodies that Poe had never even seen before, all dressed in robes and sashes and clothing that either looked too constricting or too flowing. They almost looked like-... He shook the thought and gave them a closer inspection. The people before them looked like they had fought to their deaths, but no blasters or obvious weapons were anywhere to be seen.

Finn's arm knocked against his. When Poe looked to him, his friend nodded to the far end of the room. There stood yet another door, but more reasonable than the giant gates that they had just crossed. This was simply just a double door with a shining copper shield over each as decoration, hanging open like it was simply forgotten.

These people were protecting what was on the other side of that door. Thankfully, that darkness that flowed from it like a fog proved that no one was on the other side. Which didn't dampen his worries any. What had killed them?

Finn moved forward then, breaking their already poor formation since they entered this room. Poe was still of the belief that one of the things that killed these people was secretly laying amongst the dead, so he followed his friend close, wanting to curse him and slap the back of his head. Finn, however, was completely distracted by something near the closest body. It was a black cylindrical, thin piece of metal directly out of reach of the twi'lek's hand. It looked just like- just like-

A quick glance around proved that there was one for each body, whether they be face down or slumped against a wall. They all had different variations of what shockingly looked exactly like a lightsaber he had been told about as a kid.

But Finn wielded one once against Kylo Ren, so he would know-

The ex-Stormtrooper crouched down and picked it up gingerly, as if it could crumple and rot in his hands. Poe blinked, reminding himself that he should be covering his friend, but the thought quickly flitted away as the lightsaber activated in Finn's hand, creating a glowing green saber that rivaled all the stories. The stories about a _blue_ sword.

Finn dropped it like it had burned him, and the glow was lost as the offending object clacked back against the marble at their feet. His friend scrambled up, forgetting that they were more than likely in hostile territory. “What the hell is this?”

“Blast them.”

The robotic voice behind them made both men stumble to turn and face the ten or so battle droids all in a line behind them, like they've been there for the last year. “Roger roger,” the others said, raising their blasters.

Finn and Poe broke out in a run, both knowing that attempting to fire at the enemy right now would be moot but also knowing they would never make it to that door at the end. The sound of blaster fire rang out behind them, but a sudden strong gust of wind and being plunged into darkness made Poe screech to a halt. And none too soon, as they were suddenly on the ledge of a tall building in the time it took him to blink the dust from his eyes.

Finn, still beside him, leaned back into the wall ( _the wall that was not there when we were running_ ) and scrambled for a grip. “What the hell is this!?”

This was impossible. This was stupid and impossible and they were both still unconscious in that freighter and this was all a fucked up dream due to the lack of oxygen which meant they were about to both be dead if the First Order hadn't already- _“Poe!”_

The pilot gasped for air, realizing belatedly that he was in the middle of hyperventilating. “It looks like-” They were surrounded by the night sky ( _the sun was in the middle of the sky when we landed_ ) and tall buildings reached higher than even they were. Upon looking down, he realized that the ground was too far away to even be visible, but ships and speeders of all sorts of strange types whizzed by like this place was a utopia. “It looks like Coruscant!” The Coruscant from his childhood art books that was so far advanced in forgotten technology that the galaxy couldn't hope to so much as go back to those days now. It looked like it did before... everything. A true core planet.

Finn reached out and grasped Poe's arm just as he realized that the ledge was crumbling beneath their feet. He shuffled, flailed his hands against the wall, trying desperately to find a hold somewhere, but they both dropped so suddenly that he hardly had time to scream. The building fell away from behind them, denying any chance of grabbing hold. The only thing he could do was grab Finn's arm as tight as he could.

Then the speeders fell away, the darkness replaced by a purple sunrise, the buildings replaced by impossibly large clouds the size of most moons. He looked to where he thought was below them – a bad mistake to make – as shining silver metal suddenly rushed up to meet them.

Poe jolted like he woke from a dream and sat straight up inside of a room. The first thing he noticed was Finn, panting for air and grasping at his arm. The second thing he noticed were the kids. They were of all sorts of different species, dressed much like the- the _Jedi_ they had encountered before this crazy shit began. They chatted amongst themselves, some animated, others worried, but none were shocked by the two men that quite literally fell into their warm, comfortable room.

The third thing he noticed was his blaster's unruly absence.

“What's going on?” Finn breathed, actually asking him instead of just using the question as a curse to their problems.

Poe shook his head, turning to his friend. “I don't- Are you okay? Are you-?”

“Yeah, yeah.” The ex-Stormtrooper nodded, eyes already on one of the children walking pass them. “Kid... Hey!”

Finn was ignored by all of the young ones as they bustled and mingled about themselves. Poe decided to give it a try, but all the kids suddenly went quiet and turned to the opening double set of doors, the only entrance and exit. A man walked in, hooded and brooding, only giving a glimpse to the copper shield and the room that the two men were _just in_ right beyond as the door fell shut.

A couple of the kids approached the stranger, obviously knowing him. One of them, a boy, even spoke to the man.

A lightsaber emerged from his hands, though, and he looked at the child with nothing kind in his eyes. Poe immediately got to his feet and rushed the hooded figure.

With a twitch of his hand and hardly a glance, the pilot stood frozen in place, only belatedly realizing that Finn had been beside him and also subdued. He couldn't move, fall, speak. Only watch as the light saber was brought down, tearing the boy in two as the others screamed and tried in vain to rush away. The man stalked after them and out of Poe's line of sight, the screams getting extinguished one by one with a loud crack of the saber each time.

Poe was trembling, straining, trying like hell to get free. Rey had sat him down once, taught him the best she could in a short amount of time how to protect his mind from being invaded by the force again, but she didn't cover how to keep his body to himself. He cursed her for it now. Cursed Finn for being trapped like him, cursed the kids, cursed the man, cursed the small body in front of him, cursed and cursed as loud as his mind's voice could get until the last scream died and silence passed.

Only then did the force relent, and he fell like a rag doll to the grassy earth under his feet. He took a deep breath, wanting to sob and look behind them, but knowing they were somewhere else. They were outside on a grassy hill in bright sunlight.

Finn, though, immediately turned on to his back, but his body language suggested that there was nothing there. Poe felt safe enough to look now, just seeing more rising plains behind them. Maybe the kids weren't real, just like this entire dream.

“The Jedi,” Finn gulped for air, “They were protecting the children. They were trying to-” He gasped again, chocked, and lowered his head to the earth. The realization made Poe feel sick, too.

A blast and wave of heat grabbed the pilot's full attention to the sky, instantly catching sight of an A-Wing burning through it's last engine as it plummeted towards the ground. The ship, the color, the lettering on the side, the symbols over the one wing still attached brought back memories so deep in his mind that he had feared they were forgotten years ago.

Finn, the children, the Jedi, everything left Poe's mind as he shambled to his feet and sprinted for the falling craft. If he could get closer, get to the crash site in time- A line of trees met him, and he crashed through them as quickly as he could manage.

“Poe!” Finn was screaming behind him. “Stop! Poe!”

He couldn't stop. He didn't have time to call back. He didn't have time to explain. He had to run. He had to- He- _“Mother!”_ If he could just see her. If he could just- _“Mother!”_

Something wrapped around his waist, tackling him to the ground in a dead stop. _“No!”_ He fought against Finn's hold, hearing the other man call his name, try to speak to him, but the voice was just a noise against the roaring of the last engine. _“No! Mother!”_

Before it could even breach the trees, the other engine blew, taking the entire ship with it as fire and metal rained down from the sky in a blast of orange and yellow. He screamed again, and screamed and screamed, his voice raw, scrambling against the dirt, fighting against Finn, his face wet and stained with tears.

“It's not real! Stop it!” Finn's voice called to him. “Poe! It's not real!”

 _But it is_ , he wanted to scream, _It is. It is. She's dead. It's real._

The pilot felt a hand against his hair, a pressure to his forehead that could only be Finn's. His fighting slowed as he slowly came back down. He felt himself crying suddenly, sobbing really, and Finn's presence against him like a weight on his life there to only tether him to the ground. “Poe?”

He sobbed again, glancing back to the sky in time to see the wing with the etched symbols that he remembered now so well falling straight on top of them in a blaze.

A grenade blast jolted them both to sit up, taking in a small village in the dead of night. People were screaming, running. Stormtroopers killed anyone who moved. This was too much right now. Too much... but Poe forced himself to think to- to- Was this Jakku?

No. No, they were in a jungle, not a desert. It wasn't Jakku. It- They were being ignored again.

A woman screamed behind them, running at a Stormtrooper with a bundle in his arms. She had a knife, her dark skin shimmering against her beige robs. “My son!” The trooper stepped back from her blade and fired one shot of his blaster right through her chest. The woman fell like a sack to the ground, staring at them with lightless eyes as the trooper just turned and walked away.

As Poe's eyes followed the Stormtrooper ( _because it can't be, it can't_ ), Finn slowly crawled forward on trembling limbs. The pilot was brought back when the warm presence of his companion left him, and he only just managed to move forward enough to grab his shoulder. “Finn-”

“That's-” He reached for her.

Poe was thrown back, the butt of a blaster cracking against his skull. As he fell, he heard a shot, and gained his balance enough to realize they weren't being ignored anymore. At least not by the Stormtroopers and who looked like Captain Phasma standing before them... Him... Standing before-

Finn lay next to him, a blast through his back, and his eyes- “Finn?”

Another blast echoed through his mind for what felt like centuries. When he looked up again, his hands and legs were strapped down inside of a dark, metal room. His old jacket was replaced on his own back once again. _“Finn?”_ What- What had-

The two Stormtroopers in front of him looked up, the one on the right cocking his head to the side. “Who's-”

The one on the left cracked his blaster against the other's head, shooting him quickly while he was down. In a swift motion, Finn removed the helmet and ran to Poe, trying to tear off the bindings.

“You- I saw-” The pilot could barely work his tongue enough to speak. “You were dead! You- What the hell's happening!?”

“I stopped asking that a long time ago,” Finn strained in reply, finally getting one of the arms free. He ducked down to work on Poe's legs as the pilot used his free hand to work out the other arm. In about five seconds, they had sprung him free, Finn tossing Poe the dead trooper's blaster.

No sooner than that, the door before them fell open, revealing Kylo Ren and a dense, snowy forest. The wind picked up and suddenly the trees were all around them, their clothes back to how they had been before, and Ren's helmet missing.

He growled at them, blood dripping from his torso as his red lightsaber flared to life like a supernova in his hands. They tried to fire the blasters, only for them to – predictably – be yanked away from their grasps. Ren wasted no time in rushing them, raising the saber above his head.

Poe turned on his heel, suddenly being struck from the front by what felt like a surge of electricity. When he fell, it wasn't in the snow, but against the hard metal of another ship. Finn stood above, ready to protect him but only the Gods knew with what, before Poe looked to his attacker.

Kylo Ren was gone. In his place was an wrinkled old man in a dark cloak and evil smile. Someone on his side stepped forward. Someone- Poe leaned up and began to try crawling away. Darth Vader's mask was infamous in the galaxy and unmistakable coupled with the glow of his red lightsaber. Even Finn, sheltered by the First Order since he was pulled away from his fiery mother, stepped back at the sound of Vader's heavy breathing.

He raised the lightsaber, and Poe somehow found it in him to run forward between Vader and his friend, taking the blow.

It hurt. It burned and seared, and he thought he'd never be extinguished from the fire coming from his core and spreading out in a blast.

But he gasped, the fire gone, staring at a metal ceiling. _“Poe!”_ Finn's hands wrapped over his neck and forehead, bringing his line of sight to encompass nothing but his trembling friend. “Poe! You- You-”

“I'm okay.”

“You fucking _idiot_!”

“Finn, I'm-” Footsteps. Footsteps echoing over the metal walls.

The ex-Stormtrooper pulled him to his feet without another thought, keeping a hold on his hand and running. Poe glanced back as they reached a corner, spotting at the other end of the long, small hallway a man with a blaster in green armor and a helmet that faintly resembled that of a Mandalorian. Then they were around the corner, and the green armored hunter was gone. Finn grabbed two blasters from their holsters on the walls, as Poe quickly pulled them both through a door. They couldn't keep running in this echoing tin can!

The room was small, but pitch black, the only light filtering in through a small crack in the doorway. He grabbed a blaster from Finn and waited. If it was just one, maybe they could-

His body spun arourd, feeling the force move him without his say so once again, and he held his blaster against Finn's head. His friend was in the same state, eyes wide, arms trembling, blaster held steadily above Poe's right eye.

Every cell in his body screamed for him to pull the trigger, his very soul shaking from the sheer need of it. Finn gasped, two deep, sharp breaths, before closing his eyes as tight as he could. “Poe-”

“No. No.” He knew what he was saying. It wasn't going to happen. This wasn't going to happen.

“ _Do it,”_ Finn hissed through gritted teeth. “I can't. I can't stop it. Just do it. Just-”

His voice sounded so small, so strained. “No.” He remembered seeing Finn shot in the back. Remembered him on that bed for nearly a month. Remembered the endless sands of Jakku. Remembered seeing him again on the tarmac with BB-8. Remembered every stupid time he wanted to say it and told himself, _Not yet. Not now._ “No. Finn. I-”

He felt it before it happened, felt his body failing him. _“Finn!”_ The body slumped against the wall, as the force made Poe turn the blaster on himself. That, he didn't fight against.

But there was no sound this time. The ricocheting of explosions didn't bounce around his skull. Instead, it was only heat. Not a lightsaber. Something that was- Poe opened his eyes, breathing in the ash and smoke of what could only be a live volcano, letting the burn fill his lungs, sting his eyes, blaming his tears on the air.

“ _Finn!”_ He twisted around, hoping, praying- Hands clasped his arms just before he completely lost it.

“Poe!” One of Finn's hands weaved into his hair, tears staining his face as well. “It's okay. I'm okay.”

“ _No, no-”_

“I'm all right! We're all right.” Finn wrapped him in a hug. Probably not the place for it, but Poe didn't even think on that as he wrapped his friend so tight in the embrace that he was pretty sure it hurt. “It's not real,” his soft voice met the pilot's ear, “None of it's real except for you and me. We stay together. Nothing can hurt us.” It was almost like he knew. Knew everything that Poe had failed to tell him before.

“I love you.” Poe's voice was chocked with a sob, not even managing to take a shred of delight from Finn's tightening embrace. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

_You're breaking my heart._

A woman's voice poured through him, filling him with such a shock of pain deep in his chest that it physically hurt, so much sorrow and angst and- He looked up just in time to see her fall to the ground. She was pregnant, beautiful, familiar, like he knew her, like everyone knew her, like-

The one who hurt her, fell her, the man who slaughtered the children approached them in long, angry strides. Finn pulled him closer, unsure of what to do, where to run, but Poe studied this man. He was young – the pilot's age, maybe younger – dressed in robes fit only for a Jedi. His eyes pierced through him with hate and anguish, and suddenly Poe knew him, just as he knew the woman. He also knew that he wanted to kill them, to destroy them because of their light, because he hated them, because he was jealous of them, because Poe could see right through him.

Anakin raised the lightsaber, and Poe only gripped Finn tighter to him as it was brought down.

They awoke side by side on red and yellow marble floors, looking up to a glass ceiling as shadows cast by the pillars and their sconces danced along their bodies. Not for the first time in his life, Poe desired to never rise up again and sobbed, the sound echoing around them. He couldn't keep going. He couldn't do this anymore.

A hand gripped his and he turned to Finn. Finn. Finn's real. He's the only thing that's real here. He was crying, too, but his eyes still held a strength to fight. “I love you, too.” The strength was for him. Coming from him. Strength to fight and protect him.

Suddenly, Poe felt the same and gripped his hand tighter. “It's not real.” Finn shook his head. “But we're real... We can do this.”

“We can do anything.” Finn's voice was a breath against him, filling Poe with all the strength in the galaxy. Slowly, they sat up together.

He leaned forward, gripping Finn's hand like a lifeline, as the alarms of the freighter pierced straight into his head. He was strapped into the pilot seat, looking out at a vast amount of stars through the cockpit's windows. The alarms began to silence one by one, and Poe looked down to find BB-8 tapping the controls at the speed of light with extended arms, barely tall enough to even see what he was doing.

Finn beat him to it. “BB?”

In a shriek, the droid turned to see him and turned to Poe and turned back and forth between them both, screeching happiness and warnings all at once. All the pilot could make out was a stream of, _“YOU'RE ALIVE! YOU'RE ALIVE!”_

They were back. BB-8 was here. The freighter was here. They were back. Poe undid his harnesses in record time before kneeling on the floor to hug the droid, feeling Finn instantly do the same.

“How long-” Poe's voice scratched through his throat from all the screaming. “How long were we out?”

He pulled away a few inches, still out of breath. BB-8, though, whirred and whistled against them. _“Approximately fifteen seconds. The TIE Fighter's attack knocked you both unconscious after the leap from hyper space.”_

“What did he say?” Finn leaned back as well, looking to Poe like the air was knocked out of him, too.

But it _was_ real. He still felt the wetness on his cheeks, the burning in his lungs, the anguish in his soul. “Fifteen seconds...”

Their radio crackled to life. _“Finn!”_ It was a girl's voice. Rey's voice. _“Poe! Can you read me? Poe? Are either of you there? BB?”_

The pilot leaned forward automatically, pressing the button for response. “We're here! We're- We're-”

BB loudly chirped their coordinates, and Rey quickly answered. _“I'm on my way. I'm in the Falcon. Just sit still, okay?”_

No one answered as the radio fizzled out again. Instead, Poe stared at Finn, not wanting to look away and trying to place the far too familiar coordinates. He reached for his hand, holding it as tight as he dared.

* * *

Poe and Finn debriefed directly to and only to General Organa. Neither of them felt comfortable speaking to anyone else about what they saw.

Through her, they learned the more gruesome details about the Jedi Purge, about the rumor of her father personally slaughtering the children. She confirmed that his name had indeed been Anakin Skywalker before the darkness took him, that he had killed hers and Luke's mother in a twisted fit of rage. One frowning answer after the other about Kylo Ren, the villages the Stormtroopers raided, even a tale of green clad bounty hunters and temples with five tall spires.

“But why?” Finn asked, his voice small and dry.

Poe finished for him. “Why did we see it? Why did we... live it?”

The General took a deep breath, crossing her arms and pacing pass their chairs, to a window over looking the Resistance's new hangar. “The Force works in strange ways. It moves through all of us, gives us life, gives us purpose. Perhaps it wanted to show you something. Teach you something... The Force has no sense of subtlety. It just is. _Did_ you learn something?”

 _To love him. To not waste a moment. To know everything that happened. To see it for our own eyes. To_ face _it._ “Why us?” Poe asked, knowing that Finn was just about to. He knew these things now. Knew the other man like an extension of himself. He didn't question it.

She hummed near the window, giving a deep sigh. “The Force is strongest where emotions run highest. Where there is love and fear and death and life... That sector has been restricted for so long out of sheer respect that I never would have believed something like that could happen.” They turned to her, and she smiled back to them. “The coordinates where Rey found you, that's where my home, Alderaan, once presided.”

 _Wrong place at the wrong time_.

* * *

It was hard to be apart. They kept together as often as they could, for every second that they could. Poe hadn't even been in the air yet, and he didn't care. Not right now. Not after that.

But some time went by, a week or two filled with pitiful stares and confused glances, some even judging them once the rumors of the fact of the situation went around. _They weren't unconscious for a whole minute_ , one would say before being shushed by another.

Everyday they grew stronger both together and apart, all thanks to their quiet nights where neither of them had to speak. They would stare at each other, touch each other, connected now through some horrible, magical means. Yet, they both knew that neither regretted it. The trip changed them, made them stronger for a purpose unseen by them, something that they'll probably never fully understand.

“I love you,” Poe murmured in the dark, because he frankly didn't give a fuck about the Force anymore. He didn't care about lessons or history or pain or death. The moment, right now, was all that would ever matter to him.

Finn pulled him closer, naked bodies sliding together as his lips took his. He just as quickly pulled back, breathing against the pilot's neck. “I love you.”

“I know,” the pilot sighed, a smirk slowly blooming on his face. Finn laughed, too, at a joke that neither of them even understood, but they laughed anyway. It would get better. They were stronger for it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what that was either.
> 
> Originally, the ending was going to include Qui-Gon Jinn delving into Poe's mind and filling him in on the entirety of the last six movies, driving him to the belief that he would only end up like Anakin and Darth Vader if he allowed himself to love Finn. In the end, I changed it a little bit, excluding Qui-Gon in favor of them just knowing everything without actually understanding it.
> 
> Either way, this was way too long, but I'm so glad I finally got it out. Let me know what you think about this monster. Thanks!
> 
> Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,  
> Creeps in this petty pace from day to day  
> To the last syllable of recorded time,  
> And all our yesterdays have lighted fools  
> The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!  
> Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player  
> That struts and frets his hour upon the stage  
> And then is heard no more. It is a tale  
> Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,  
> Signifying nothing. (Macbeth 5.5.19-28)


End file.
